If you’re one of the two geniuses who stole a donation jug intended for a 5-year-old cancer patient … well, you probably don’t read. Or use cutlery. Or communicate except through gestures and burps.

Phil Carone had put the jug out on the front lawn of his home on Alter Avenue Saturday, along with two photos of 5-year-old Mikey Weinstein, the son of Carone’s daughter’s friend, Christine Lograno-Weinstein. Mikey has tumors all over his brain and spine, according to the Staten Island Advance. He’s been on chemotherapy for almost three years. That’s most of his life.

Literally, the kid’s face was smiling right at these people when they took the money.

Carone had brought out some stuffed animals, and people were supposed to take one and leave money for Mikey. But Carone had to walk away briefly to feed some cats. The last thing he saw was a Caucasian, dark-haired woman on his lawn taking a stuffed bear and stuffed dog.

And when Carone got back, the jug was gone. It had maybe $11 or $12.

Seriously? I mean … seriously??!!

The woman and a man apparently took off in a gray SUV. Carone tried chasing them, but he just ended up finding the empty jug nearby.

So how much crack did that buy you, folks? Half a dose? Two-thirds? What’s the matter, couldn’t you find some other sick kid to steal from to make up the difference?